Communication Tips

Communicate regularly with others

It is important for the patient to remain connected and supported by others, but not overwhelmed. You can play a key role in keeping this balance. Together, you and the patient can decide the best way to communicate with others. If he or she does not feel up to the task, offer to coordinate the communication efforts. Ask the patient who should be kept informed of his or her treatment or provided with other updates. Use this information to create a contact list. Keeping people informed can be tiring for the patient. Point-people can be chosen to keep others informed at regular intervals by email, phone chain or update letters.

Discuss how much the patient wants to be involved in this process of keeping others informed and what you can do to keep calls and visits manageable. For example, if the patient likes talking with others by phone, suggest setting up a specific time for people to call.

Below are a few topics you and the patient may want to discuss in these communications with family members and friends. The two of you may have other concerns that are not listed here.

The latest medical updates from the doctor. Use the latest information to help plan for the future needs of the patient.

What others can do to help in the day-to-day caregiving. Other family members and friends may want to help. Let them know how. You may not have the time or ability to carry out all the patient's needs. Let others bring over meals or pick up food or medication. Allow them to drive the patient to appointments when you are not able. Or, you might just want someone to stop by to visit. Let others know the best time to visit.

The patient's wants and needs. Your family member or friend may be having difficulty telling you how he or she feels or knowing what he or she needs. But, the patient should still be involved in making decisions about his or her own care. Needs may be as simple as taking a daily walk or as important as outlining future treatments for a living will. Be open to discussing whatever the patient is ready for. Open discussion will help you evaluate what is working and what needs to be revised as the patient's health changes.

Communicate effectively with the patient

Advanced pancreatic cancer has changed the patient's life. (And yours, too, for that matter.) As a caregiver, you should communicate openly with your family member or friend about these changes. In doing so, you need to strike a balance between the disease itself and the patient as a person. How, then, should you relate to your family member or friend?

Encourage your family member or friend to achieve small goals. Perhaps it's just being able to walk the dog around the block. Or, maybe it's being able to attend a family wedding.

Touch the patient. Sometimes, a simple touch can say more than any words. Besides adding a sense of calm, touch lets the patient know you are there for him or her.

Treat the patient as an adult. Ask -- not tell -- the patient to do something. Remember these three words: can, will, please. They can go a long way in caring for your family member or friend in a positive way.

Be patient. No doubt, you will encounter power struggles with the patient. Recognize that he or she is feeling a loss of control at this time. Discuss the situation with your family member or friend. Make sure to give him or her choices concerning the situation at hand. Be realistic. Don't set false hopes for the patient. If a treatment doesn't work, for example, see what other options may exist. Be aware of possible memory loss. Cancer treatments may affect the patient long after the treatment has ended. Memory loss is one possible side effect that is often -- though not always -- associated with chemotherapy. Most people who experience memory loss may forget things such as others' names or certain words. Near-normal memory levels usually return about a year or two after chemotherapy. If the patient seems to be experiencing these or other memory-related signs or symptoms, talk with the doctor.